Today's song: "Social Climb" - IDK How But They Found Me

Life hasn't been that interesting lately, but I've been itching to write, we go!

My parents have been pretty shaken up ever since my cousins' household all had covid. It tore through them so badly that it scared us all. (They've all recovered now, thank god!!!) But my family was getting a little lax, so this made us be more cautious when leaving the house. My mom has been going out to eat much less. I just got my booster shot last weekend!

But...Oh god, those side effects. It was probably a bit stupid of me, but I ended up getting a different brand than my first vaccine. It was the only place around here that I could schedule an appointment quickly. It was great being able to go somewhere literally the next morning after scheduling it...but... maybe my body wasn't ready for whatever they have in those Moderna shots, lol. It hurt like hell. I could barely sleep that night because of the chills...I would just manage to get comfortable with the body aches when the shivers would start to roll through me. I was changing out throw blankets every other hour because my body couldn't decide what temperature it wanted to be...

But I bounced back after a day and half of that. My friends who got the same shot tell me that I recovered really quickly! So I guess that's good...? My sleep schedule has been all over the place since then. I go to bed tired but then can't seem to fall asleep until 1-2 AM. Trying to fix that, but it's hard.

For the most part, life has been chugging along like normal. It's been quiet, but not in a bad way--I've been very focused on catching up on chores and working on my little projects. M and I have started our exercise class at the local highschool! (but I use the term "exercise class" very lightly, we're literally just walking loops on their indoor track, lmao) Doing a lot of research for my entry for the upcoming Yesterweb Zine issue. Also doing a lot of work on learning my microphone and setting up my twitch page...I'm still in my pre-debut phase, ok?! But if you follow that link, you might be able to catch one of my practice streams!

Mom's scheduled a zoom meeting with a divorce lawyer. We might have a lead on a place to live: a family friend is getting ready to rent out their old condo...It's kind of comforting to finally have a (fuzzy) idea of what the future might look like, but it's also super anxiety-inducing. There's a lot of work that needs to get done before we officially move. Still sorting through sentimental old things and forcing myself to come to terms with my past. It's painful...and I could ramble about the angst, but this entry is long enough already. Ha!! Maybe next time!

Today's song: "Oh, It Is Love" - HelloGoodbye

Happy New Year, everybody~!

Hope you all had a safe and merry start to 2020~! I've always had mixed feelings about this holiday, so I didn't do much to celebrate, besides drink the margarita mix that M gave me for Christmas. But I promised a long, rambly entry about my resolutions and thoughts, it is!!!

It's safe to say that this year has been full of ups-and-downs. A lot of things happened that I couldn't have predicted: I fell into some work opportunities and my parents started finalizing their divorce. It's either been very good or very bad, and not much in between.

~*~*~Some noteable things that happened this year...

- Chickens...LOL. But, seriously--when my phone made one of those "your best memories of the year" slideshow thingies, it was almost entirely chicken pictures. This past year has been so dramatic: I lost most of my chickens to predator attacks, but then raised a clutch of new babies this summer. They've grown up so quickly! I hope I can give them a long and happy life.

- I made some new friends~ This was the year I gave discord a proper try, and it ended up being way more meaningful than I could have ever imagined. After a year full of stagnation and anxiety, being able to have long conversations with someone, even if it was over the internet, was a godsend. I'm really grateful for all the new and wonderful people I had the chance to meet this past year!

- I got my new computer!!! This might not seem like a major thing to most people, but it felt like a big deal to me. It was a big investment that initially gave me a lot of anxiety--growing up with parents who were afraid of technology and absolutely hated videogames left me with a weird complex...That I ought to be ashamed for even being curious about this sort of stuff in the first place. But I saved up and got this incredible gaming rig with my own hard-earned savings, and I'm so incredibly happy with it. Just turning it on gives me hope for the future. I feel like it could potentially open up a lot of doors for me!

~*~*~Goals and Resolutions for 2022...

- Drink less. A nasty habit I developed in 2020--it's nothing terribly dangerous, but my alcohol of choice is super sugary stuff, so for the sake of my diet (and my teeth) I think I ought to cut down a little.

- Be more tidy and get rid of my junk. This will (inevitably) happen due to my upcoming move, anyways, but I want to make better habits moving forward. If I can be completely transparent...I think I have mild hoarder tendencies. I see this sort of behavior playing out with my grandfather, and I'd like to nip it in the bud when I'm still young and able enough to toss out old junk I've collected over the years.

- Build my streaming career. Talking about the details of this one is a little embarrassing--and I plan to make a seperate website for this stuff, so I can keep this site for purely personal/creative expression, but...I have a good feeling about this. I can't count how many little projects I've started, just to have them fizzle out a few months later. Now that I finally have access to the technology I used to dream about as a teenager, I can finally attempt to make the stuff I've had sitting in the back of my mind for years. I really want this project to be "the one"--something that I can actually build up to a point where I can look back and be proud of it.

~*~*~And how did last year go...?

Last New Years, I wrote that I wanted to keep coding, and that I wanted to write more. Technically, I think I managed to accomplish both those things! Maybe not in ways that I was originally intending, but...that's life, right? lol~ I've made some new pages on my site here, and have been practicing how to make pages mobile responsive in private. Also want to shout out how lucky I've been to have had the chance to write some pieces for the Yesterweb Zine--it's been such a fantastic experience, and I'm excited to see how the zine grows. I was so surprised to get such heartfelt feedback from those of you that read my articles!!!

My favorite astrologer shared some thoughts about creating New Years "intentions" rather than "resolutions", and I resonated with that a lot. I think, out of everything, the word I want to represent the coming year is "forward". I'm entering 2022 with a shred of confidence, compared to years past...even if I know this year is going to be filled with a lot of change. It's scary, but I'm going to try to remain optimistic!

As always, whoever you are, wherever you are...thank you for reading this.