Today's song: "Watersong" - CRANES

YEAH!!!! I finally got my new diary layout sorted out! I've become so rusty at coding, but I'm fairly happy with it--I wanted to create something vaguely LiveJournal-inspired, that had a place to showcase my icon collection, lol... I don't have anything terribly important to say, especially after I just wrote a big update. The point of this entry was mainly just to test how my layout looked, ha...

I tried to buy myself a gaming PC. But I got scammed...I think. Sort of. I mean, it's here--I went all out and bought myself the Skytech "Archangel"~ It's the kind of gaming PC with rainbow lights in it and shit...even the keyboard is backlit, it looks really cool~ But getting it here was a nightmare and a half--soo many issues, got given a bad tracking number and the seller tried to charge me twice for it...I nearly had heart failure that morning, when I woke up and learned that my bank account had been drained... I didn't even think it was going to be here at all, until it was on my doorstep, basically. The monitor I ordered to go with it is shite, though...but that's more on me: I didn't look at the listing close enough to realize it wasn't really going to fit my computer desk. It was definitely over-priced, too--I've already placed an order for a cheaper, more proper one at Best Buy. I've bought some adapter cords and a new extension plug in order to make due in the meantime. But honestly, I just have no idea what I'm talking about, lmao...

So now I have a brand new shiny computer--that still needs a lot of things, apparently, even though I tried to make this transition as easy as possible by getting a pre-built one. But I'm still really excited, as broke as I am, now. At least I can probably write some of this off on my taxes, as I technically need a computer for work.... I'll let you guys know if I ever make my vtuber debut!

I've been writing a lot. I've finally scored some more hours at work--something I don't really want to take on, but kind of have to now, considering the circumstances. But it's alright! I'm trying to not be so cranky, lol. The world just has my patience worn so thin...feels a bit stupid to be grinding away to the gods of capitalism while society is crumbling, but ehh... Still, this is the first time in like, 2 months, that my boss has had proper work for me, so I have to embrace these opportunities when they arrive.

Overall, things are alright--My friends and family are still fairly healthy and I get to see them every now and then, and I still have a roof over my head. I'm still trugging along with going through my posessions and putting them into boxes...Mom is still hinting around at our future move away from my dad. I think I'll feel a lot better once I actually have an idea of what our new place will look like. As of now, I look over the boxes I've packed and think "...Will I even have space for this, when we move?"

But...right now, I'm feeling foolishly optimistic.

Today's song: this nightcore mix, omg it's so good

...I was so close to managing to write in a diary regularly for the whole year, but I broke my streak. Now there's three whole empty months in my sidebar... Not that anyone's counting but me, lol~ But I started the year off with high hopes that I would at least have one entry per month.

Honestly, I'm not really sure where to begin. My life has changed a lot since I last wrote. I got the rest of my Pzifer vaxx--not too many weird side effects, it was a pretty seamless experience. My birthday passed at the end of July, I turned 28...But my brain is still stuck a few years back, it seems. I keep having to think real hard about my age when someone asks me about it. Maybe that's just a side effect of getting old though, LOL. I went out for Mexican food that day, but then came down with a really nasty stomach bug for the rest of the week.

The most important and pressing thing I should report about is my parents starting to finalize their divorce. I...don't want to say too much about their personal business, but this means a lot for me, as my disabled brother and I still live with them. I can't visualize what the future is going to look like at all: Mom hasn't made the formal steps to actually start the divorce yet (like...legally, by hiring a lawyer/mediator/all that) but it seems like it's going to be extremely difficult for us to restart our lives after this. How difficult will it be to find a new place to live? I keep stumbling into more and more articles about the housing market falling into chaos...Will we just move in with my grandfather? He doesn't really have the space for us...We haven't found the answers to these questions yet.

But these days I'm tip-toeing around arguments. Lots of crying and yelling, throwing boxes around. Mom gets mad and will start yelling things like "We'll be gone by the end of the month, get packing!" at me. I haven't moved houses since I was 14--and I was just a kid then, so I didn't have all that many possessions to my name...I honestly had forgotten how much work it is to pack up all your shit and move it somewhere else. And... I have A LOT more stuff!!!

I've been working really hard at trying to sort through old things between my hours at work, but it's hard. I get overwhelmed by nostalgic items really easily. "Don't be a baby", I want to keep telling myself. "Don't be such a baby about this." the end of the day, I'm still really childish, aren't I? I feel like I don't know anything about the world. I have no idea what our new home will be like. I have no idea what my future will look like. When I try to envision it, it's just a blank space, I absolutely can't fathom what it will be like at all.

There's so much more I could say, but this entry is already long. I reeaaally want to make some cosmetic updates to my site: I'm getting sick of my layout and it needs some tweaks, lol. Hopefully next update will come in a more timely manner...! ;w;