I'm...never sure how I feel about this time of year. I feel like the holidays are only fun when you're a little kid. As an adult, it's just
filled with a lot of stress and failed expectations, ya know? But I can't help to still try to feel a little nostalgic for it. Especially this time in the early winter, before
the snow comes--when I was a teenager, this was a time of dreaming up new projects while enjoying time off from school. So many afternoons spent staring up at a silver sky,
dreaming about the future. . .
My family and I
Thanksgiving. Really, the day itself went pretty well overall. It was so lonely without my cousins to talk to, though. I ended up chugging two glasses of wine and
sitting outside with the chickens... .___. But the days leading up to it were a nightmare. I'm not even sure I want to go into much detail about it, but mom was a terror...I know she was stressed, but I
didn't want to humor her drunken tantrums. My PSTD was really triggered by her antics. It's wild how some people respond when you just don't put up with being an emotional punching bag anymore.
Even after the holiday, we had some relatives pass through the area. One of my distant cousins from my dad's side decided to have their honeymoon around here.
(...which is baffling to me, but maybe the East coast
is scenic compared to the middle of the country, so I shouldn't judge, lol...)
I hadn't seen my cousin J since I was a little girl. I barely remembered what he even looked like, tbh. My only memory
of him was when he introduced me to Kingdom Hearts when I was really little. He seemed nice enough, though. Idk. I'm never sure how to treat anyone on my dad's side of the family, and even moreso with the divorce
hanging over our heads. My dad's always friendly to somebody's face, but when no one's nagging him for something, he can't be bothered with anyone at all. I honestly thought he hated all of his siblings, with
how little they were around growing up.
But...this is just me making stuff up in my head, maybe. To explain my family's neurotic behaviors. I don't think I'll ever truly understand them--and I ought to just drop it at that. I'm just really glad that all
of these social obligations have slowed down, finally, because I am very tired.
It's not all gloom and doom, though! The new chapter dropped in Dead By Daylight
and I've been playing a lot with friends. Been really
enjoying listening to the Yesterweb Radio
. I bought a couple of games during the Black Friday sale on steam. Mostly really old things that
I know won't run on my new PC anymore... (really grateful that the old Nancy Drew games
remastered for more modern computers, lol) But I also finally got my hands on Psychonauts~!!!
Absolutely stoked to finally
play that one, omg~ I'm just trying to decide if I should wait for my mic to arrive so I can record myself playing or not.
E's holiday party is around the corner. The gang decided to hold it sooner, rather than later, but that really only leaves me a week to put everyones' presents together...
I'm lucky that I did my shopping early this year! Now I just have to make cards.